I’m still vomiting feelings all over your internet, but I get to do that because I have a blog. That’s one of the reasons I have blogs. I also have comment sections, which allow people to respond. I do not, however, have to allow everyone to respond or allow all manner of response. This year […]

If you are hurting, I would like you to be my valentine. Please be my valentine, friend or stranger. If you are hurting, I choose you. I know it’s a Hallmark holiday and we don’t need no damn valentines and we should all profess our love on all the days. Fine. Be my 365 Valentine. […]

Sarah Hayes wrote a lovely post on brokenness, in which she insisted that hers is her own to define and understand. It fits so well with the current struggle. (Or a piece of it, really. The piece of it I can think through without seeing the color rage.) I strongly encourage you to be open […]

In vague and cryptic terms I expressed my feelings of rage and frustration at not being able to protect someone that I love and care about. I expressed that my helplessness turned itself into a kind of rage for her assailant. It hadn’t occurred to me that this person — the perpetrator — would ever see it. I blocked […]

Twice in my life I have hated someone with a blood boiling I-want-you-to-know-endless-pain feeling. A debilitating rage that drowns out all other thoughts and feelings. Both of these people earned my rage by causing profound, deep harm to people that I love with all my heart. I find myself now wanting a tidal wave of […]

I made a whole bunch of little projects for myself this month. Over the weekend I sat down to evaluate how I did. The scariest stuff was put off until the last minute. A few things just never became priorities. (I’m working on a project for a guy who runs a bar that does karaoke […]

My youngest sibling turned 19 on Saturday. It feels strange for me to say that they are 19. My baby sibling is 19. They’ve grown up and become my friend for it. I remember when that shift started — when they switched from being the sibling with whom I had a somewhat contentious relationship to being my […]

“Not to be critical, but…” began a Facebook comment which inevitably followed with an incredibly critical comment on an article a friend shared. I care very little about the local business in another town being discussed, but the “Not to be _____, but” opener is a particular gripe of mine. I find any statement that […]

Between the fact that I was bursting with love for The Holiday Council and my general babbling about fixing the assorted cracks and fissures in my life, I’ve been on a bit of a life-coach-blog-reading, someone-tell-me-how-to-person, quarter-life-crisis, oh-my-god-when-did-I-become-the-kind-of-person-who-uses-the-term-quarter-life-crisis? kick lately. Enter, Cake For Breakfast. A 45 page workbook, audio sessions, and weekly journal prompts from […]

Today is the first anniversary of my grandfather’s passing. A year ago today we lost him for good. I don’t know how to process that any more now than I did a year ago. This past Christmas was strange. We didn’t go up to grandpa’s house. He had such a lovely house. Big, open spaces. […]

Friday was the twentieth anniversary of the Northridge Earthquake. Twenty years ago I was woken up by a dream that our house (in Northridge) was being picked up by a tow truck. I can still see this image in my mind as clearly as if it happened yesterday. I called the tow truck a pickup […]

(1) I know I’m an ass for uploading a 15 minute video. Attempting to edit this thing was something of a nightmare and I didn’t actually get to all of what was meant to be in it because I was so frustrated that once I’d chopped it down and added some music, I was exhausted […]