A week ago I was on 20sb and someone mentioned “the slammer.” My first thought when I hear that word is: Pogs. You remember pogs, right? They were one of the more brilliant ways we were manipulated into begging our parents to spend money on absolutely useless crap. Pogs were little 2 inch circles of […]

Last night I was watching television and a re-run of “What I Like About You” came on that ended with Val and Holly throwing chocolate cake batter all over the place. All I could think was, “Fuck, I really want brownie batter right now. Real bad.” So I changed the channel. I spent 30 minutes […]

Things are reaching a new level of absurd. At present, working at my mom’s art gallery (very) part-time is still my only job. I have had four consecutive days off and I am running out of ways to fill them. On Tuesday I actually yelled at my mother when she wanted to borrow my car […]

My parents’ willingness to harbor me seemingly indefinitely has allowed me to only apply for jobs I actually want, which makes rejection sting that much more. It has even reached a point where I actually appreciate rejection emails, since so many people don’t even bother with that. The fact that I get so excited about […]

After all of my whining I felt it was important to talk about how truly awesome Lollapalooza actually was. I love festival shows. There is certainly something to be said for seeing bands at smaller, more intimate venues, but there is something awesome and magical about the magnitude of festival shows. There are so many […]

You know what’s really annoying? When people incessantly put down Thing A in favor of Thing B when other people have only experienced Thing A. With that in mind, I apologize in advance to any die-hard Lollapalooza goers. I also encourage any fellow Coachella fanatics to attend Lollapalooza at some point, just to experience it […]

Things I Dislike Right Now: Scientology commercials The “Cardio Dance Party” class at my gym Shia LaBeouf The distance between my house and the county fair What I find most bothersome about the Scientology commercials is the fact that when I see them in the haze of my bullshit existence, I start to think, “Wow. […]

Today I was rudely awoken at 10:45 by a phone call from my mother requesting that I go pick up my dog and then go into work for her. My dog is afraid of leaving the house, and his hours at the vet having his nasty dreadlocks shaved off and getting shots did not calm […]

I am not sure if I am all that good at this. There are a lot of things that I could talk about from the last two weeks. Like how we randomly decided to hop in the car and drive to California. Or how after I spent 28 hours on the road back from California, […]

I am currently sitting in my mom’s art gallery, killing time because it’s a Sunday and people don’t come to the Jefferson City mall on Sunday. In fact, people, don’t really come to the Jefferson City mall at all, but that’s another matter. Anyway, my day consists of opening the gallery for my mother so […]

My family went to Mexico last week. Or, a faction of my family went. The faction that prefers fun and happiness to responsibility. Fortunately for our faction, people who enjoy responsibility stayed home to help finance our fun and happiness. Our irresponsible-fun-loving faction consisted of myself, my mother, and my younger brother. My older brother […]

One day I was sitting at work telling a long story about the ridiculous thing that happened to me on my way to work that day and I realized that this is what I do basically every single day. I’m not really sure what the story was on that particular day — I think it was the […]