I think I might be turning into a real person. I find the lack of long-term stability in my “jobs” comforting enough that I can still consider myself only vaguely employed. But this week, for example, I’m working over 40 hours between my mall-job and my job telling kids to stay away from drugs and alcohol. I looked at my Google Calendar and the blue that I use for my “work” calendar shows up far more than I am comfortable with. Actually, the fact that I have even had to start really using my Google Calendar again unnerving.

Fortunately there is plenty of television for me to hide behind. The more hours I spend parked in front of my laptop watching television, the more I feel like college never ended. Except now it’s even better because I also get to watch hours and hours of The Nanny on Nick-at-Nite on an actual television before I pass out. In fact, my knowledge of Fran Fine’s struggles to get Mr. Sheffield to put a ring on it have increased dramatically in my post-graduation months. I now check the episode info and if the episode is 1997 or later, then things are either already happening on that front, or just about to. I don’t count the occasional weirdly justified make-out or the “I Love You” slip and oh my god if you don’t know what I’m talking about you probably actually have a life, but it is seriously missing something. The Nanny. Work on it.

But more important than The Nanny or any of the returning legitimate shows or the fact that I’m feeling the plot for this season of Weeds a thousand times more than the absurdity that was the last season…more important than all of that: Hellcats premiered on Tuesday. Get excited.

Now, I wasn’t actually able to play The Hellcats Drinking Game, because I’m maybe kind of turning into a real person but shh let’s not think about that because avoiding real life and anything vaguely resembling responsibility is what my relationship with television is all about. Speaking of which, I should begin by saying that this show is every ounce of the overacted ridiculous string of predictable one-liners you would expect to be, with the possible exception of Ashley Tisdale’s character who was actually surprisingly endearing.

That said, I counted almost ten a piece for Aly Michalka’s Marty speaking derisively for pep and and various characters mocking Marty for being poor. So for those of you who are playing along, drink up. An additional component, sure to make appearances in future episodes, were the five-ish references to the sheer athleticism of cheerleaders.

Is this show actually any good? Of course not, it’s on The CW. Am I going to watch this show every single week? Obviously.

Speaking of things that are awful and I shouldn’t like but I really really do, a couple days after posting that a new challenge season may be starting, according to some random wikipedia article, I saw this gloriousness on MTV:

I’ve decided that I’m done seeking out legitimate employment. I’m waiting for the next time they do a Fresh Meat season and I am going to be come a career MTV Challenge player. Some of these people can’t possibly have other jobs, since they leave for a few months out of every year to go run up a hill, eat something gross, and then berate someone for failing to solve a Sudoku puzzle that my 9-year-old cousin could tackle. Don’t feel bad though, she’s an incredibly smart 9-year-old.